You may have heard that you should stick to what you say, no matter what!
While I very much believe that consistency is an important parenting skill, I also know that sometimes we react in the heat of the moment to our child or teen. Sometimes we say things that we later wish we hadn’t said and then can’t stick to them. (Think, I'm taking away your tablet for a month...) We undermine ourselves!
>>Here's a quick tip for a quick win with parenting.
Changing your mind is not the same as giving in.
I believe we have mistakenly equated changing our mind to giving in.
I always like to first ask my clients, What values are you trying to teach your child or teen by the action you’re taking?
Next I ask, What is your child actually learning from what you’re doing? I find that often the actual lesson they’re learning is in complete contradiction to the desired intention of the parent. Can you think of a recent example?
What if in trying to teach our kids to respect us we can also make make room for them to learn how to take responsibility for their mistakes. What if in trying to teach our kids to keep their word, they can also learn that changing their mind can be what’s best for them.
What if empathy is the path to actually being in control as a parent? Empathy does not say your behavior is OK. It says I see you and hear your feelings.