SUPPORT FOR PARENTS/CAREGIVERS
OF TRANS&GNC KIDS
Dear Overwhelmed Parent,
Are you the parent or primary caregiver of a child between the ages of 5 - 21 struggling to balance how to help and support your child and keep them safe while at the same time managing your own difficult and complex feelings.
There’s a good chance that you may feel like you’re standing alone with these challenges - without a roadmap.
Perhaps you’ve come here looking for help. Let’s start with five questions to see if you might be in the right place, OK?
Question #1: Do you wake up at 3 in the morning, your head spinning with self-doubt, worry, sadness and maybe even anger?
Question #2: Are you unsure how to sort out typical age-related issues from gender issues?
Question #3: Do you feel like you're always walking on eggshells?
Question #4: Are you hesitant about how much to get involved and how much to step back when it comes to supporting your child?
Question #5: Do you struggle with the anxiety of needing to know your child is sure before they do anything drastic?
If you answered, “Yes” to one or more of the above questions, then there’s a good chance that I can help you navigate this parenting journey.
Perhaps the most important thing I can underscore here is this:
You are not alone.
But many parents feel like they are.
They don’t realize how many parents, like them, are struggling on their own, without support and without a roadmap for what to do.
Hi, I'm Kathy
I’m Kathy Whitham a Registered Nurse, Trauma-informed Child Behavior Specialist, Mom, Grammy and Poet. My coaching approach lies at the intersection of brain science, attachment, family dynamics & self-compassion.
I specialize in helping parents like you because I was that struggling parent. My now 32 yr old son, is on the other side of his transition and doing great as a high school special education teacher. He came out as transgender 12 years ago on the stoop of our Queens apartment after our weekly pizza date - Pizza dates that had been crucial to the much needed relationship repair that had begun only the year before.
Since then, our relationship has gotten better and better, as has he. I’ve gone on to work with hundreds of parents in both workshops and one-on-one, in-depth coaching sessions helping them nurture better relationships with their kids and restore peace at home.
Here’s the thing...
I believe we must move toward a parent-centric approach and away from a child-centric approach to parenting. Why? Because I believe parents are the most effective agents of change in a family. They hold the real power. Therefore, I focus on supporting and empowering parents to be in control of their relationship with their child without getting sucked into the vicious “here we go again cycles” and the feelings of guilt and failure that come with them.
Brain Science and a larger understanding of family dynamics are not typically part of many popular child-centric parenting techniques. In other words, you ARE doing your best but I believe you may be missing a key piece of the parenting puzzle which has to do with the core understanding of what your child’s behavior is really telling you in order to respond effectively.
The understandings in the paragraph above are what allow me to help parents in situations that have felt utterly hopeless and impossible to them.
The Parent-Centric approach builds on a parent or caregiver's strengths and places the keys to change in their hands and in the power of the relationship. It’s rooted in ‘understanding what your child’s behavior is telling you' so you can respond effectively.
Child-Centric approaches place the keys to change in the child’s hands. They’re rooted in ‘trying to get your kid to do what you want them to do’ and often use techniques that utilize rewards and consequences to motivate a child’s behavior, even though these techniques don't build the internal motivation that's important for long-term success and good self-esteem.
The 7 Principles of Parent-Centric parenting are as follows:
Connection matters more than perfection.
Behavior is an SOS, not an attack.
The better you do, the better your child does.
Families are dynamic systems where all members affect each other.
Your child wants to please you
Small changes lead to big results.
What you focus on increases.
You’re here because you love your child and want to be the best parent you can be. You’re also here because you’re at your wit's end, and worried about whether your child will be OK down the road.
Perhaps you’re frustrated by advice from books, peers, blogs and friends, that doesn’t seem to work with your child and you don’t know what to do next. Maybe things are even getting worse the harder you try.
If any of this sounds familiar, then you’re in the right place to try something different. So, I’d like to formally invite you to consider signing up for...
Parenting Support Consultation:
What is it? A 50 minute one-on-one session by phone or Zoom designed to set you up to successfully move toward the change you're wanting at home.
How much does it cost? My fee for this session is $90.
Why do I offer them? They are my way of meeting you and giving you a chance to get some immediate help, empathy, and relief.
If we click and I want to work more with you, what are my options? After I get a better picture of your family situation, I'll let you know what the range of options are to work together and recommend what I think would best support you and your family.
What You’ll Get From Your Consultation:
Here is a general sense of how the flow of the session will go:
Identify your biggest parenting challenges - i.e. What brought you here?
Explore the impact of these challenges on your family
Get really clear about your personal goals and intentions for the change you want
Have the opportunity to feel heard by your partner and to listen to them (if applicable)
Go over the 7 principles of a Parent-Centric approach (and have time to ask questions about them).
Discuss solutions for moving forward in light of these principles
Learn some immediate relationship-building strategies.
Determine if we'd be the right fit to work together
Get connected to the best resources to help you move forward.
I hope to meet you soon.
Simply put your information in the box below to request your Stand Alone Session. I'll be in touch by email within 24 hours so we can find a time that works to connect!
PS: If a one-on-one coaching session is unavailable to you, but you need support, PLEASE reach out to me. . I know of many free or low cost resources (my own and others' I trust) that I would be happy to share with you.