Welcome to No-Yell™ Parenting Coaching
An approach rooted in brain science, attachment & family dynamics
Here - at Parenting Beyond Words
Connection Matters More Than Perfection.
Behavior is an SOS, Not An Attack.
The Better You Do,
The Better Your Child Does.
Small Changes Lead To Big Results.
Your Child Wants To Please You.
What You Focus On Increases.
Families Are Dynamic Systems.
All Members Affect One Another.
Kathy Whitham, RN Video courtesy of Glenn Koenig, Open Eyes Video.
Dear Overwhelmed Parent,
Are you the parent or primary caregiver of a child between the ages of 2 - 15 who is at your wit's end with your child’s behavior?
Perhaps you’ve come here looking for help. Let’s start with five questions to see if I might be a fit to help you, OK?
Question #1: Does your child have more extreme, frequent or longer lasting behavioral reactions that seem like they are out of proportion to what is actually happening?
Question #2: Do you find yourself in a power struggle with your child more than 50% of the time when it comes to any of the following?
*Getting out the door
Question #3: Have you struggled for three months or more around any of the following issues?
*Your child won’t listen to you.
*Your child has become withdrawn and won’t talk to you.
*The kids are constantly fighting with each other
*There are frequent tantrums, whining & crying
*You can’t enjoy being together as a family
*More severe behaviors have started to emerge:
Question #4: Do sticker charts, time-outs, and consequences make things worse?
Question #5: Do you often feel undermined or unsupported by your partner (current or ex) when it comes to handling discipline with your child?
If you answered, “Yes” to at least 2 of the above questions, then there’s a good chance that I might be able to help.
Perhaps the most important thing I can underscore here is this:
You are not alone.
Hi, I'm Kathy
I’m a registered nurse, parenting coach, poet, mom & grammy. Over the past 10 years of working with parents, one of the things I hear most often is, “It feels good to know I’m not alone.”
Raising my kids, after divorce, I felt very alone. It seemed like no one else was having the struggles I was having with my kids. I was exhausted and overwhelmed much of the time. It took years for things to begin to turn around at home for me, and it was only because I finally connected to the right support. As a result, I was finally able to make sense of my child’s behavior, know what to do, and feel connected again.
If loving your child and trying hard were enough, you’d already be the parent you want to be. Because, my dear, you could not be trying harder!
But we were never meant to do this parenting thing in isolation.
Here’s the thing...
I believe we must move toward a Parent-Centric approach and away from a Child-Centric approach to parenting. Why? Because I believe parents are the most effective agents of change in a family. They hold the real power. Therefore, I focus on supporting and empowering parents to be in control of their relationship with their child without getting sucked into the vicious “here we go again cycles” and the feelings of guilt and failure that come with them.
Brain Science and a larger understanding of family dynamics are not typically part of many popular child-centric parenting techniques. In other words, you ARE doing your best but I believe you may be missing a key piece of the parenting puzzle which has to do with the core understanding what your child’s behavior is really telling you in order to respond effectively.
That paragraph above may be worth reading again a few times to let it sink in. That paragraph
above took me 20 years to be able to write. The understandings in it are what allow me to help
parents in situations that have felt utterly hopeless and impossible to them.
“I feel very connected to my kids and am able to tune in to what they need in the moment.”
Janine - MA, Licensed Acupuncturist, Yoga teacher, mom of 2
When I started working with Kathy I felt so overwhelmed - like it was all beyond me and I had no idea how to handle what was going on with my kids. We were always yelling, things would escalate and it was ugly. No-one was happy and i didn't know what to do.
Now I feel very connected to my kids and am able to tune in to what they need in the moment. When there's an outburst, I can step back and not have to take it personally. I have confidence that we can shift from there and deal with what’s really going on...and I know we’re all going to be OK!
Imagine your child is like a barometer. They tell you the weather around them, but they are not the weather. The weather is the stress in their environment. Their behavior is their response to that stress. The barometer can’t change the weather, but the weather can change the barometer. You, as the parent or caregiver have the most power to influence and change the environment once you learn how to effectively use your relationship with your child as your best parenting tool.
Learn more about my Parent-Centric Philosophy HERE.
"a wonderful, supportive resource"
B. Bryan Post, PhD, LCSW, Child behavior expert
"Kathy's understanding, compassionate and innovative approach to helping families create homes without yelling is a wonderful, supportive resource for any parent seeking love-based solutions and strategies to their relationship challenges with their child!"
If you could use some support, I have a range of services for parents & caregivers from Free resources to One-On-One coaching programs. I work both in person and virtually. Take a look at My Services HERE or follow one of the links below to explore further.