Updated: May 14, 2021
It’s so hard trying to keep them entertained all day without losing my s*tuff! I need some deep coping skills… Can you relate to that parent? It does feel like we’ve moved beyond just coping - challenging even on a good day - to the need for deep coping. Now more than ever, when it seems impossible, the first requirement for deep coping skills is to fill your own tank. Short circuiting reactivity and power struggles requires connection. The stressed out brain can’t connect! Without filling your tank, instead of helping a situation at home, you may find yourself pouring fuel on the fire instead. But how is there even time to fill your tank!? Try thinking in terms of “sips” throughout the day instead of one Big Gulp. Here are a few ideas for your sips:
1 deep breath in and out where you feel the air going in and out your nostrils.
1 drink of water
1 big full body stretch
1 refreshing face wash
1 period of alone time - bathroom or car works - if you have someone to be responsible for the kids for 10 minutes.
1 piece of dark 65%+ chocolate (I use Lindt 90%)
1 trip outside your front door to look up and breathe.
2-3 loud sighs into your pillow. (or someplace where you won’t startle anyone!)
What else do you have to suggest? (Please comment below.)
As you become a little bit calmer and more regulated, practice giving your child “sips” of co-regulation throughout the day. Here are a few ideas for your child’s sips: 1. A hug 2. A tickle 3. Play a game together 4. A drink of water 5. Dance to 1 song together 6. Shake and make noise together 7. Share a low sugar snack like fruit or peanut butter crackers 8. Go outside and run 20 laps (if you have space) or run in place and count to 100. You can also do this inside. 9. What other ideas do you have? Please comment below to share the sips of self care that work for you. i'd love to hear.