The Holiday ride is suddenly in full gear!

The 3 tips I’m sharing today can help you prioritize connection with your child during holiday gatherings.

Holidays can be stressful as you try to do it all and be it all for everyone.

This can create additional parenting challenges as the following holiday stressors can feel even more overwhelming and dysregulating to stress-sensitive kids!

• unpredictable schedules

• loss of routine

• stressed out parents

• unrealistic expectations

• big feelings like overexcitement & disappointment

• weird foods

Given all this, it’s no wonder your kid may be prone to acting out, melting down, bouncing off the walls, and talking back!

First of all, I want to acknowledge you, yes you, parent trying sooo hard, for your fortitude. Fortitude - noun: “mental and emotional strength in facing difficulty…”

It takes fortitude to do the following:

1. go against the grain and do what you know your child needs.

2. trust your inner parenting voice.

3. be their ally.

4. receive support

Keep in mind, your child has very little control over what happens to them. Being your child’s ally can really make a positive difference in how they feel in the midst of this holiday season.

One thing being their ally means is creating an environment that feels safer and less overwhelming for them during holiday gatherings.

Pick one of these 3 connected parenting tips to focus on at your next gathering.

1. SET REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

This will also help you stay calmer! Holiday dinner is not the time to teach your child a life lesson by making them stay at the table while everyone talks and eats for a LOOONG time.

• Figure out how long you think your child could realistically stay at the table without becoming disruptive. Then set a timer for ½ that time and let them know that’s how long they need to sit at the table.

• Don’t expect your child to try new foods at the Holiday dinner. As a matter of fact, don’t even suggest they try any of the foods. Let them pick what goes on their plate or doesn’t. Be their ally.

• Make sure you feed them a good breakfast in the morning before you leave (or your guests arrive) and pack healthy, calorie rich snacks and a favorite, parent-approved video of their choice. Be their ally.

2. KEEP TO THEIR ROUTINE (As best you can)

I know it sucks when you want to keep adulting with family and friends. However, your child probably can’t handle staying up late without a meltdown or major power struggle. (“change in routine” + overtired > dysregulation)

• Set alarms for their normal eating and bedtimes so you can be reminded and still relax.

• Be their ally and be prepared to leave the party early. It will make for a much more pleasant ending to your holiday gathering.

3. SUPPORT THEIR CHOICE WHEN IT COMES TO PHYSICAL TOUCH.

The whole holiday situation is already overwhelming. Unwanted touch, like hugging Grama or kissing uncle John when your child doesn’t want to, can overpower their nervous system, deny them agency and trigger their stress response.

Unwanted behavior can result as a way to communicate their discomfort. I believe teaching consent cannot start too young!

• Always approach them with a choice about being touched.

• Actively intervene when they don’t want to be touched or appear uncomfortable or distressed with touch. Be their ally.

By practicing these 3 tips, first and foremost, you’ll be strengthening your connection with your child!

P.S. You’ll probably find yourself enjoying your holiday gathering more too!